回想一下你第一次离开家，或者开始你的第一份工作的时候。你还记得你在每一次经历中的感受吗?世界杯西班牙vs德国波胆预测对于我们大多数人来说，我们经历了复杂的感觉——可能是对新事物的兴奋，对我们是否会喜欢新体验或适应那里的人的紧张，也许还有一点对我们留下的东西的悲伤。所有这些都是与我们生活中的变化有关的正常感觉。

Similarly, it is common for people to have a variety of feelings when they move into a retirement residence. That was certainly true for George and Suzanne.* Initially, Suzanne was ambivalent about moving from the home they had lived in for almost 50 years. She knew there were very good reasons to move: she was no longer interested in cooking every day, and found getting groceries challenging in the winter. She and her husband were also finding the upkeep of their home a lot to manage, and were feeling a bit isolated since she wasn’t supposed to be driving. Yet, she couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.

在他们选择搬进一个退休住宅大约一个月后，我去拜访了苏珊娜。我们一起喝了杯茶，她告诉我她怀念以前的家。她主要是怀念那种熟悉的感觉;毕竟，他们已经在那所房子里住了几十年了!我告诉苏珊娜，离开老家感到悲伤是完全正常的，因为当我们的生活发生重大变化时，这是正常的情绪。

Suzanne then went on to tell me about all the things she really liked about living in her retirement residence. She no longer worried about falling on her slippery wood stairs, she loved having delicious meals that she didn’t have to cook, and she really liked coming downstairs every morning and having tea and chatting with people. She and George were already making friends and trying new activities.

I reassured Suzanne that this mixture of feelings—excited about this new chapter, but also a bit sad about leaving behind the old—was simply part of going through a life transition. It did not mean it was a bad decision to move; just that it was going to take some time to settle in.

When I saw Suzanne a few months later, she was much more light-hearted. She told me about the new friends she had made and the activities she was participating in. She was going on outings with other residents and loved being more active. She looked happy and told me she felt younger than she had in a long while.

有些人需要比其他人更长的时间来度过过渡的中间阶段。这有点像放弃了一个空中飞人，而没有抓住另一个。你满怀希望地向前迈进，但这一切都有点令人不安。

And in my experience, women and men may grapple with different emotions. George’s biggest challenge was feeling that he had failed in his role as a provider for his wife because they needed to leave their home. I asked him what Suzanne was like when she was younger. He laughed and told me she was always on the go and had lots of friends. She was a very social person. I told him I thought that he was a wonderful provider for his wife, because at this life stage she couldn’t be active and social in their old home, but he had provided a place where she had that again. Also, it seemed his wife was enjoying not cooking or having to do a lot of household chores. Because she had been a housewife and stay-at-home mother, it was as if he provided for her to “retire” from the work she did in their relationship by providing for them to “right-size” their lives.

George hadn’t looked at it from that perspective before. As Suzanne became happier and more active, he realized that he hadn’t failed her at all: he was giving them both the best quality of life in this chapter of their lives. He, too, settled in and began to fully enjoy all their retirement residence offered.

If you are planning a move into a retirement residence, you may wonder if you can settle in as well as Suzanne and George. Think back on other stages of your life and I bet you’ll find many other life transitions you went through in which you had mixed emotions while you let go of one chapter and moved into another. We can call on that experience to remind ourselves that we are adaptable, and that new adventures await us if we continue to be willing to move through the mixture of feelings that accompany change.

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.